Dan VS Futurama
by VForEngland
Summary: Poor Dan. Poor Planet Express Crew also. Both, have been royally screwed by fate, and now they meet. What Will Happen? Who Will Live? When Will I Stop Captializing every Word? My first story, its like a child! Im so proud...
1. Chapter 1: The Crash and The HIghway

"Oh, COME ON!" A short, angry man with a black t-shirt that said 'JERK' on it, clutched the wheel of a dirty, red truck. "Dan-" The guy sitting next to him sighed." NO! Chris, isn't it common road _etiquette_ to NOT cut someone off on the highway!" "Yeah, but-" "EXACTLY! Not. Another. Word. " Dan ran his finger across his mouth, signaling for Chris to shut-up. **HONK! **The man driving the van in front of them waved." YOU DIRTY SACK OF FILTH! I WILL SCALP YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND SACRIFICE THEM TO THE FALSE GODS! I WILL SLIT YOUR-what the...?" Dan stopped yelling at the driver in front of him when a blinding light appeared in the sky. It sped towards the ground, growing brighter by the second, when it reached the horizon and...**BANG! **Every car window on the highway exploded suddenly, spreading glass all across the pavement. It was such a big explosion, Dan lifted off the ground for 5 seconds. Screaming flooded the area as people ran from their cars and jumped off the highway One guy was in a fetus position, with his eyes dilated and shrieking. Dan turned, and saw his car. It was a mangled shell of what once-was a rather sloppy car. " Wha! MY CAR!" He ran towards it and began picking up shards of glass. "Its okay baby, Dan's right here..." He tried putting the glass into his broken side mirror. " Holy crap! Did you see that?" Chris said as he ran towards Dan. "Of course I did you nimrod! But what about my car?" The pieces, all back in their old positions, trembled then shattered, making smaller pieces. 'Dan, I don't think," He sighed," It can be _fixed._" Chris trembled on that last word. Dan's face contorted and became red with rage as he lifted his fists into the air. "**METEOR!"**

_**Dan V.S **_**THE**** METEOR**

_Planet Express _

" Curse those damn Banditos!" A certain purple-haired, one-eyed mutant yelled. "Im all out of bubblegum! And Kick-Ass!" A metal robot yelled across the room. "Damnit! Fry, use Bender's cooking!" Leela ordered. "YES M'AM SIR...Lady." A orange haired, red-jacket wearing human stated. " Don't you lay your damn dirty fingers on my cooking! And why my cooking you monster!" Bender yelled as he blocked the doorway. "Well...um... Its all we got!" Leela responded. Bender ran into the doorway, trying to save his lobster filet, when the ship rocked suddenly and he fell into the ships bathroom. Flushing could be heard. Fry stumbled as he ran into the kitchen and grabbed Benders near-concrete Lobster. He ran into the turret and loaded it in as Bender wailed in the distance." FRY, YOUR GONNA DIE!" Fry, sweat dripping down his forehead, fired the Lobster at a Donkey with an engine sticking out of its butt, as Banditos fired maracas at them. Fry pulled on the trigger, as a grey, cracked unknown object on a dish sped at the Donkeys eye, when a sudden rip appeared. "Leela, what's tha-GAH!" Fry's words into the intercom was halted when a mechanical hand yanked him down from the turret. "FRY YOUR GONNA PAY FOR YO' SINS!" Bender yelled. Leela stared in shock at the opening rift, as she said into the intercom," Buckle your seat-straps!" The ship became noodle like as it was sucked through the portal, and sped through out the multiverse. They sped into one small hole, with an image of a highway on it. "AHHHHHH!" Every single crew member simultaneously screamed as they suddenly appeared and flew towards the ground.** BANG!**


	2. Chapter 2: Meteors and Spaceships

Dan's harsh footsteps crushed the brittle dirt underneath. " When I get there I'm gonna'…" He muttered. "Your going to what, Dan? It's only a rock." Chris replied, as he tried to keep up with Dan. " Shut-up. You obviously underestimate the powers of DAN!" He said as he waved his fist. Chris sighed, when he tripped on a rock. "OW! Man…" Chris got up and wiped the dirt off his face. "Why didn't you help me?" He questioned. "I have better things to do with my time." Dan simply responded. Wisps of ash fluttered in the wind, as small specks of fire grew larger in the distance. "We're getting close…" Chris whispered. " I can see that, nimrod!" Dan said as he whacked Chris on the head. After saying "Ow," Chris pulled out his cellphone and dialed his wife's, Elise, phone number. "Ugh. Dan, why couldn't we have taken the highway?" He whined as he raised his cellphone and tried to get a reception. 'To many witnesses." Dan grumbled, remembering he had to leave his car. They walked a couple of steps forward until they reached cliff. "GAH!" Dan grabbed a root and managed to pull himself up. "Uh, Dan…" Chris said as he helped Dan get up. "Wha- Holy crap!" He stared at what was once thought to be a meteor, but was in fact a spaceship! What could be assumed what once was a green outside, had burn turned a dark red. "Well, I can think of something I can do to it now." Dan said.

_Planet Express_

"Ugh…wha' happened?" Bender mumbled as he shook pieces of metal and kitchen ware off him. Bender heard a low groan from under the stove, which was on top of the fridge. Bender reached his arms, and pushed it off while mumbling about how he wasn't made to do this. Under it, lay Fry, with his "Fry Fro" fried and a little bit of blood staining a corner of his plain white shirt, which was covered in ashes. Benders arms clutched his shoulders as Bender yelled: "WAKE UP!" Fry's eyes swung open, as his pupils nervously darted across his eye. "Bender! WE'RE ALIVE!" He screamed with anxiety along with joy. Bender slapped him. "Im not you moron! Get up and find Leela!" He ordered as he shoved Fry off the stove.


	3. Chapter 3: Blocks and Rocks

_Planet Express_

Fry grumbled as he walked across the charred remains of kitchenware and various foods. His footsteps broke the sounds of crackling and sparks of broken appliances. "Leela?" Fry shouted into the hallways, which echoed across the mangled ship. "Fry? Is that you?" Fry jumped into the air from surprise, not expecting an answer. Fry ran towards the cockpit, until he tripped on the shattered remains of the toilet. "OW! Freakin'..." He said as he removed a small shard of porcelain from his ankle. He slowly limped to the captain, as he clutched his leg while muttering remarks that when said in public, would cause the speaker to be executed. When Fry entered the room, he saw Leela sitting in the captains chair. A metal block covered her foot, while she cringed in pain. "Are you okay?" Fry timidly asked. " What does it look like?" Leela responded sarcastically as she pointed at the block. Fry nervously grinned, as he pushed the block off. "Urgh...Fry, if you mess up my foot I swear to 42 I will hurt you so bad that I'll..." She said with a pained tone. "Don't worry its off." Great, just great..." Leela mumbled.

_ Dan & Chris_

Chris's tall body came into view as they neared the ship. "My question remains, what _can_ you do to a ship?" Chris asked. 'Well, I can blow it up,toss rocks at it, drive a truck filled with quick-drying cement into it..." Dan said, as he began wondering how many things he could do. 'Never mind." Chris said. Dan picked up a rock and began tossing it and catching it repeatedly. He then chucked it, with all his might, at the windshield of the ship. The window shattered when a unknown voice yelled, " WHAT THE HELL!?" "Dan! Is somebody in..._there_?" Chris questioned. A wide grin spread across Dan's face, as he said, " Yeah. There's people in there. AND THEIR GONNA FACE THE WRATH OF **DAN**!" Dan began sprinting towards the ship, chucking rocks at it along the way. He got behind a broken tree and yelled: "FOR MY CAR YOU VILE SCUM!" Dan, began throwing rocks into the ship, laughing all the way.


	4. Chapter 4: Smoulders and Boulders

**To anyone who actually cares, which is none: Sorry for taking so long.**

_The Planet Express_

"What in the hell-GAH!" Leela yelled as rocks began flying through the windows, sending shards of glass through the air. "OH GOD! WE LANDED IN THE NEANDERTHAL EMPIRE!" Fry screamed, as he ducked under the desk. He began rocking himself back and forth, trying to calm himself down. He went into fetal position and began sucking on his thumb, mumbling incoherent gibberish. Bender ran into the room, clutching a Golden Globe award for Best Musical/Comedy. He went under the desk with Fry and began talking aloud.

"What if they're after my Oscar. THEY'RE AFTER MY OSCAR!" Bender yelled in fear.

Fry craned his neck, and looked at the statue. "That's a Golden Globe!" He yelled back.

"SAME THING!"

Leela pulled out her laser gun and began using the desk as cover as she began shooting through the broken window. "Damn! Wish I had depth perception!" She said as she shot some trees, causing a wild blaze.

_Dan And His Sidekic-I Mean Chris!_

"MUAHAHHA! FEEL THE SUFFERING I WILL INFLICT ON YOU MISERABLE PI-They're armed!" Dan yelled, as he ran for cover. The forest behind him caught into flames, as a bear ran out of the forest engulfed in flames. It was flailing about, trying to cease its combustion. It fell on its side and turned in a circle until it passed out. "That's what it gets for hoarding all the food to itself!" Dan yelled at the dying bear, as he tossed a couple more rocks at the ship. "DAN! Do you really think angering a group of people with LASER GUNS is a good idea!?" Chris frantically as lasers sped past them. "Chris, I've angered a international, billion dollar corporation. What could get worse than that?" Dan calmly replied as he threw pebbles blindly. "Help me with this one Chris!" Dan said, as he put great strain on trying to lift up a small boulder. Chris ran to the opposite side of Dan and heaved it up, his face as red as a tomato, or Dan's normal shade of skin. They around the side of the ship and tossed the boulder, causing a huge dent in the ship. "H-Hey...Dan...L-Look at th..This..." Chris panted as he pointed at the logo on the ship. "Planet Express. They are one crappy delivery company."


End file.
